Hello dear reader(s)!
I am posting from a Starbucks on my phone this morning, so please excuse the typos and other phone-like infractions.
As I am completely committed to enjoying this life, I have made it a mission to get out more. Yesterday I went on a hike, but more on that later.
Today I walked to the store, but decided to stop by Starbucks along the way. Since I am reading and drinking my coffee, I figured now would be as good a time as any to post.
Depending on how tired my arms are from carrying the groceries, I might stop by a yard sale near my house. I am completely open to seeing where things take me. Too many things lately have taught me to be better about practicing what I preach. To live life to its fullest without fear of judgement or consequences so long as you are doing everything you can not to hurt others.
I’ve said it for a while, ever since the cancer, but real logical fears have held me back. But if there is anything I have learned lately, it is that anything can happen without expectation so why not just go for it. Granted, I still don’t want to go BASE jumping or anything like that, but only because that kind of thing is not very fun for me.
I am not an adrenaline junky, but I will not shy away from anything I want to do, because of fear. It is true, we do have nothing to fear but fear itself.
So yesterday I went on a group hike. My first slightly strenuous (for a normal person) hike since I started getting sick. And do you know what? It was a blast. I had fun, and met some cool people.
Do you know what else? I fell. Hard. I have skinned up knees, a big fat bruise, and a bruised up elbow. But it was funny! I’m sure it would’ve been different had I been injured, but having to learn to walk again a few years back taught me how to fall properly. Like skaters can fall a million times and be fine. Sure there may be that one freak accident, but you could be walking below an air conditioner that falls out of a window and kills you too. You could be driving on a dual carriageway (highways here) & be hit by an out of control plane from some airshow in the UK. Anything can happen to anyone at any time.
How would you rather go out? Commuting to work, cussing out the traffic, or doing something fun? I know my answer.
So I fell. And I laughed, and I got up and finished the hike. It was the perfect metaphor for my life. And it was a blast. Tomorrow I am going on another easier, flatter hike. Tuesday I have dinner plans with a group of friends. Friday, I might go hang out with some friends from high school and one person who is now basically family thanks to Hannah. Sunday, I am going to a metal show with my cousin. Yes metal. Because why not?
And on Wednesday the second, thanks to the absolutely unexpected and unasked for (in fact, I attempted to refuse), generosity of a few people and someone I only know from here…I am going to Alaska for nearly a week.
To say I’m excited about this all would be an understatement. Of course, I still am sick. I am still in the process of recovering or even stuck at this level in terms of my immune system. I still need to take some days and nights to rest and recover. I am still prevented from a lot of things. I still have doctor’s appointment every week, (except when I am in Alaska) for the foreseeable future. And I still need to avoid large crowds and anti-vaxxers, and their children. I can’t be around sick people, and thanks to the shittiest worker’s protections, I can’t work because too many people show up to work sick, or with their kid’s illnesses all over them.
So I am limited, but not from everything. I understand that now. I understand some level of risk is not only acceptable but healthy. And in that, I vow to do more living.
I won’t beat around the bush with people. If they don’t like it, the people who matter will. Oh sure, I’ll do the dance that is part of getting to know people (I know this sounds like I’m talking about dating, but it applies to any interaction.), but I won’t play games and will let my intentions be clear; whatever those may be in the particular case.
Take it from me. Life is short. You can prepare the best you can for the future, but remember not to get so caught up in a future that hasn’t happened that you forget to live.
Here are some pictures I took on my hike:
Make it a great life.