20 Reasons I Couldn’t Be A Woman, Part 2/2

Hello dear reader(s)!

Continued from yesterday…

11.  Hannah  As open-minded as Hannah is, I doubt she’d be cool with me coming up to her and saying, “So, um…I know people are usually born that way, and you chose to be with a man when we met, but um…do you want to be a lesbian now?”

12.  Pay  I don’t want to make 70 cents on the dollar for the same job and same hours I could get paid as a man.  I’m not greedy, but if/when I can work again I want to be paid fairly.  And by fairly I mean enough to live outside of my job, and own politicians.

13.  Slut-shaming  There are still large elements of society that don’t believe women should even want sex a lot.  What I really don’t understand is that in porn we love to see women just humping everything in sight and with as many things and or people as possible, yet if our wives or girlfriends expressed similar desires many of us would freak the fuck out.  I would not want to live in a world where I am expected to not want sex.  Sex is natural, sex is fun.  Sex is best when it is not sung about by George Michael.

14.  Prude-shaming  Women can’t win when it comes to sex.  If they want to they are seen by too many as sluts, if they don’t they are seen as being prudes.  Sometimes you may not want to fuck.  Maybe you have a stomach ache and the movement would cause an eruption from either side.  Maybe you have a headache that is already pounding.  Maybe you just don’t fucking feel like it.  If a guy isn’t interested we just don’t initiate which pretty much stops any activity and leads me to…

15.  Can’t make the move  So one time I saw this girl I thought was good-looking at a 7-11.  I was 19 and saw her (from the back) and my friend and I were talking to each other about how nice looking she appeared from the back.  I also had zero confidence at the time and got my Super Big Gulp and left.  Well, it turns out that girl was someone I had “dated” (I say dated because at that time, there was no serious dating for me) in the 8th grade.  She had changed a lot.  At any rate, I know this because she saw me, followed my friend’s car, chased us down, flashed her lights and pulled us over.  She came up to the passenger side window and basically asked me out then and there.  I got her number and we dated for a while.  The whole time, my friends said that was a psycho move and that women who make the move are crazy.  Well, I still assert that just because she had her issues does not mean her being the one to make the move was crazy.  Her crazy was totally unrelated.  I would hate to be thought of as strange because I didn’t want to wait on another person to start something.

16.  Dominance  Women are expected to be docile, submissive creatures.  I’ve dated a couple of women like that and do you know what?  Boring.  Boring!  Having someone do whatever you want is fun for about 5 days.  Then you realize you might as well be with a blow up doll (and I’m not just talking sexually).  I like strong, opinionated women.  I like women who know what they want and aren’t afraid to tell you.  And more often than not, those things will line up anyway.  Oh sure, some women enjoy being submissive in certain areas and some altogether, but I would never want to be expected to be that way in all aspects at all times.

17.  Body image  Okay, it is starting to get to us men too, but it is not the same.  If I have a beer belly (and I do), I can still attract a woman if I have other things to offer.  And women can too…to a point.  There is always going to be someone out there who wants what you can give them, but that pool of people gets a lot smaller for women a lot faster if they do not meet certain standards.  Especially if I was a woman, and still retained my attraction to women, I would have it really bad because as much as men judge women on their bodies…women do it to each other even worse.

18.  Abuse  I currently know 3 women who are with a man who has, or continues to hit them.  (And we’re not talking in a playing type of capacity.)  They have all been made to believe that they are deserving of that or are incapable of leaving and making it on their own.  One of these women is with such a scumbag that I do not even want to be around her because if she sees anything in this person at all, she must also be terrible.  The other 2 have been convinced by societal gender expectations and their parents’ belief that women can’t be independent so are too scared to leave.  Either that or they have falsely convinced themselves that it is better for their children to keep their family together, even if that means getting hit some times.  Fucking ridiculous.  If I ever hit Hannah in anger, I hope she’d leave me.  Because I would leave her.  If I was a woman and was the victim of abuse?  Well, let’s just say there would be a new episode of Snapped.  Prison does not sound like fun.

19.  Children  I could never stand the “When are you going to give me a grandchild?” bullshit from people.  Or the “Can I feel your belly?” if I were pregnant.  Having children is a personal decision and if a woman chooses not to it is nobody’s fucking business.    

20.  Pink  Not the singer.  The color.  It is fucking ugly.  Ugly color.  Just looks like puked-up watermelon.  I would not want to have been dressed in it before I could make the choice that I think it is terrible.  Pink frilly shit doesn’t even look good on girls.  Here is an example.  Take a pink taffeta bridesmaid dress or prom gown and put it on a good-looking woman.  Now take that woman’s identical twin and put her in a little black dress.  Which one do you choose?  Trick question, asshole, you choose the one you get along with the best.  But which one looks better in the dress?  I think we both know that it isn’t the one dressed like a table at a child’s birthday party.

Okay, those are my 20 reasons why I am fine in my own skin.  This is my list, and once again, is not an argument for or against why it is better being one thing or another.  Be who you want, it is attractive.

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Author: Josh Wrenn

Cancer survivor, wanna-be artist, musician, author, and all around good guy.

21 thoughts on “20 Reasons I Couldn’t Be A Woman, Part 2/2”

  1. Don’t know why I have to click on like in order to post. Another of my frustrations! I disagree with you entirely. Maybe it is because I was born this way. Pink is an absolutely beautiful color. Look at any flamingo and you will understand. The sky in your background picture has pink in it. A LOT OF PINK! you really must like pink, you are just in denial.
    The rest of your reasons did make me smile though, so I guess clicking like wasn’t so bad!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You have to click like? What the hell is that? That is not what I set up. Weird. I guess there is some pinks in the sky, so there you have a point. I guess I am referring to that light pink or pepto bismol pink color that society places on girls.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think WordPress is just messing with my brain. You make an interesting point, if you were female you would feel obligated to like what society tells you to like. As a man you know you can choose your own likes and dislikes. I happen to like pink, but even if society told me purple should be my favorite color I would still like pink. I think for myself!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I look awesome in pink. I’m wearing pink pj’s and a pink robe RIGHT NOW and I look fab. My husband also looks fab in pink, maybe even better than me, although he has fewer pink things than I do.
    Sexing is very complicated for women, there is so much judgement, especially for unmarried women, and GASP! women who never intend to marry. I’m convinced sex feels better for women tho.
    Body image and the media is a real bitch, but I think it is for men, too, women are just more vocal about it. You know, stuff like, LOL “That bitch ain’t even real.”
    I love being a woman, despite all the vulnerability, so it’s nice you want me to be me. Pink and all.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. One of my favorite things is this big man I know, all musclebound, and he wears this light pink tee that reads, “Real Men Snuggle.” I love it.
        Don’t look like a frat douche. No one wants that.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. One time this guy I was seeing called me a prude because I didn’t want to make out with him in front of his roommates. I dropped his ass. ALSO! I fear the day anyone tries to touch my pregnant belly. Strangers do it. Family members do it. Friends do it. It needs to stop!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes it does! And the questioning and pressure. We get it all the time and I am not capable of producing a child. “Why don;t you adopt?” “Why don’t you try surgery?” “Why don’t you try a donor?” I have a question for those people: Why don;t you mind your own fucking business?

      Liked by 1 person

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