Hello dear reader(s)!
Now, we’ve already established in my posts 20 Reasons I Would Not Want To Be A Woman parts 1, and 2; that I do not want to be a woman because I think I have it easier as a man and am happy in my own skin and body.
However, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea and think being a woman sucks. I suppose membership in any gender does have its privileges. So, from my perspective, here are my 10 reasons why I think being a woman would be kind of kick-ass.
- Orgasms Science has proven it, women have longer-lasting, more intense, and are capable of more orgasms in a shorter period of time than men. Granted, men can learn to be multi-orgasmic and certain types of orgasms can be more intense than the standard, but it’ll still never compare to the orgasmic capability of women. (Excluding women who can not orgasm, of course.)
- Sex toys My genitals do not vibrate, My genitals do not contain rotating beads. My genitals do not have extra prongs and things attached to hit all special areas at the same time. This is not to say that men (and yes, even heterosexual men) can’t use sex toys and have a great time too, but I think there are about 5 variations for men (even if you’re into anal) and women have about 1,850,000³ and counting. Men might not even exist if it wasn’t for women desiring intimacy on occasion to go with the fucking and their maternal instinct.
- No spontaneous erections Okay, nipples don’t count. I’m talking about being woken up in the middle of the night by intense pain because your equipment has decided to stiffen and poke you in the rib cage. Not to mention the pain from something that shouldn’t be bent in that condition being bent because of your body weight. And then of course there is the public erections. I have had to use the school book defense many times growing up. Even when you do your covert adjustments you risk being caught to get it hidden, and it isn’t exactly comfortable. I think that middle and high school teachers who call boys up to the front of the class for any reason need to take sexual harassment sensitivity training.
- Custody This is the only men’s rights issue that I can understand, really. There is absolutely nothing in the sexual identity of a person that decides their parental skills. Nothing. The courts are stacked against fathers to the point of placing children in dangerous situations based simply on the myth that women are better parents. That shit is myth. Testosterone and estrogen do not cause child abuse or neglect, nor do they prevent it.
- Masturbation A woman masturbating is empowered and beautiful. She is taking charge of her sexuality and pleasing herself. A man, according to much of society is a degenerate pervert who can’t control himself.
- Free stuff Now, even if you no longer drink, there may have been a time where you did. And if you were a man, you probably blew a shit ton of money over the years buying drinks. And on dates, as a man, you probably did your fair share of paying for dinners and entertainment. Now, there are plenty of women who are fine with going dutch, or who might try to grab a tab every so often, but trust me when I say they are in the minority.
- We’re stupid A horny man will do just about anything for a woman he thinks might give him sex, and women who know that take full advantage. Yes, they endure harassment and other bad things from men, but they also get out of traffic tickets, get stuff fixed, get stuff built, and occasionally get financial security just for using that to their advantage.
- Macho bullshit I’ve seen women fight, and it is usually because of alcohol or some other substance and usually results in some messed up hair, scratches, and bruised egos. When men fight it is usually more serious and something they really don’t want to do, but can’t let themselves feel less than manly. It is the dumbest fucking thing on the planet, but we do it. I am not a big fighter, but the times I have were usually because either I was defending the honor of a woman I was with, defending an innocent woman being abused, or because I was worried how I would look if I backed down while surrounded by women. Fucking dumb.
- Control Okay, believe it or not, women do have power in this society in at least one area. Sex. They know men want it, they might also want it and just as much, but they decide if, when, where, and with whom. If a man hits on you, he wants to have sex with you. If a woman hits on you, she wants you to want to have sex with her. She might also want to have sex with you, but that is not a given.
- Taste I have never heard a woman get made fun of for ordering a lemon drop at the bar at a casino’s swimming pool. I have never heard a woman get made fun of for wanting frozen yogurt. Do you know what an old fashioned tastes like? Ass. Bitter ass. A dry martini? Ass. A scotch on the rocks? Gasoline. Most beers? Piss. Black coffee? Stale piss. I will have my lemon drops and margaritas on the rocks. I will have my kamikazes and Malibu and Cokes. I will have my white mochas. Oh…I must be a girl because I like shit that does not make my eyes water or throat burn going down. (The exception is Jameson, for some reason, I like that burn. A smoother burn perhaps?) I like avocado on my cheeseburgers, motherfucker, how about that? My ideal breakfast is french toast with berries and whipped cream, or a banana nutella crepe also with whipped cream. I must be a girl. I swear the next time someone makes fun of me for ordering something “girly” because it doesn’t taste shitty, I am going to whip it out and slap that person with it. – Which having that option is I guess another reason I am happier being a man.
So that is me. What advantages or disadvantages do you think your gender provides? Either physical or however you identify, what do you like/dislike about what goes along with your gender? Do you think that some of the expectations on each are as stupid as I do? Let me know your thoughts, but keep it hate-free as always.