Sock Wet!

Hello dear reader(s)!

“What is a sock wet”, you ask?

Well, I will tell you.  Sort of.  I say sort of because I am not really sure what a sock wet is myself, other than how it came about.

It all started one fine evening about 1 week ago, or actually, the way time has been going for me lately, it could have been a month already.  At any rate, Hannah and I had just taken a shower.  One of the items we have yet to purchase for the home is a floor mat for the bathroom.  I think you can probably see where this is going.

After getting dressed (no shoes in the house), I walked back into the bathroom and stepped in the water on the floor.  In my best twangy accent I said, “Gall dambit Hannah girl, you dun got my sock wet!”

Well Hannah was blow drying her hair and so all she heard was “sock wet.”

“Sock wet?” she asked, laughing, “What is a sock wet?”

So I explained the full events to her and we laughed about how all she heard was sock wet.  (It doesn’t take much to get us laughing.)  And that is when I remembered the weirdest real insult I have ever heard.

“Milksop.”  Apparently, a milksop is actually a piece of bread soaked in milk, but was popular in decades past to describe someone weak either physically or intellectually.  So I laughed as I told Hannah about how they sound somewhat similar and now we have decided to use “Sock Wet” as an insult.

So I have really yet to define it (other than a wet sock), but I can use it for you in context.

“Hannah girl!  Why aren’t my fish sticks ready?  Get your ass in the kitchen, woman and tend to my fish sticks!”

“F_ck you, you damn sock wet!”

“You’re the sock wet, not having my fish sticks ready after I worked my butt off all day by sleeping and trying to feel better!  You and all yer feminist sock wet friends gettin’ crazy ideas in yer head agin!”

“I’m sorry, baby, I’ll tend to your fish sticks.  I luv you so much an I didn’t mean to call you something so terrible as a sock wet.”

“That’s right you didn’t woman,” as I slap her on the ass.

So now, I have a favor to ask you, my dear reader(s).  Please help Hannah and I add sock wet to the lexicon.  Learn it, use it, know it, love it.  If you don’t, you’re all just a bunch of sock wets!

Sock Wet
Sock Wet

Do you and your relation(s) have any words you have made up and use?  If so, I would love to hear about it in the comments.

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Author: Josh Wrenn

Cancer survivor, wanna-be artist, musician, author, and all around good guy.

19 thoughts on “Sock Wet!”

  1. Very nice story. We have a number of words we misuse in our family – one of them is making “infinity” at Christmas time. When my daughter was 3 and I had made the candy divinity, she couldn’t remember the correct word so she asked to have some “infinity”. (Quite the vocabulary for a little girl). We have called it infinity ever since. Just to show how much it is incorporated into my vocabulary one year I was looking for the recipe in the cookbook where I knew it should be. I could not find it. I was quite frustrated until I realized I was looking under “infinity” and not “divinity.”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Gah, I hate a wet sock!
    Only sock wets get water on the bathroom floor!
    We totally make up words and phrases all the time. If you were at my house for a few days, you could go home speaking our bizarre common language, no one would understand you. Most of it is based on a slew of kids and words they mispronounce or misuse, and they just stick. I will add sock wet immediately. Sassy will take it to a party tomorrow and by Monday it will be THE phrase 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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