Hannah’s Phone Saga Continues

Hello dear reader(s)!

If you read the previous post about Hannah’s phone issues, you know she was about to get a replacement for the various different phones she had in varying states of functionality.

Well, it arrived.  It’s beautiful, functional, has a great camera, and is everything I was hoping it would be for her and more.  What a great gift her friend gave her and I am genuinely thrilled.  So, you’d think that Hannah’s phone issues would be solved, right?

Not so fast, Mr. Gonzales.

It was last week, the day before the phone arrived.  I had an appointment with my oncologist and was the last appointment for the day.  Given the complexity of some of my issues, the appointment stretched on a bit after closing.  My oncologist stayed a little late to finish the appointment with me, but the staff had left and most of the lights were off when the appointment was over.  We walked through the exit door and made our way to the Beastess at the adjacent parking garage.

After the two elevator ride, we get to the Beastess, ready to go home.  Hannah digs in her purse.

“I don’t have my phone.”

“Yes you do,” I reply, “Just keep looking.”

“No, it isn’t in here.”

“Did you even bring it?” I inquire, “I didn’t see you take it out in the room,” I continued.

“Yes, I know I had it.  I must have left it in there.  Can you go check for me?”

“Why should I check?  It’s your phone,” I state.

“Please, I’ve done so much for you,”  she responds.

“Don’t pull that card.  That is bullshit.  Your phone; you go check.”  I said.

“But it is your doctor’s office and I’ll feel weird,” she pleaded.


I shut off the car and ride the two elevators back up to the doctor’s office.  I try to open the door into the lobby, and sure enough, it is locked.  So I knock.  And I knock again.  No answer.  So I walk to the exit door and knock there.  No answer.  And then I go across the hall and knock on the billing and administrative offices door.  No answer.  I go back down the elevator to walk to the other elevator to go up to the waiting Hannah and Beastess.  I break the bad news.

“We’ll just have to come back in the morning,” she tells me.

Great.  I get to come back in the morning to the doctor’s office for a crappy phone that should be replaced any day now after a not-so-great appointment and when I am trying to conserve money and therefore gas.  Wonderful.

The next morning I call the doctor’s office to see if they have recovered the phone.  The receptionist tells me that they did have a phone turned in and I can come by and pick it up anytime.  I tell Hannah they have it, and we drive across town to the doctor’s office once again.  I park, do the two elevator thing, and go to the front desk.  I tell the receptionist that I am here for my wife’s phone she left behind.  They didn’t ask me anything about the phone, but I volunteered that it was a black Motorola with no back on it.

“We don’t have that phone.  The only phone turned in was an iPhone.”

Are you serious?!?!  I am fuming and thank the receptionist for checking and walk out, totally pissed off about the unnecessary drive and wondering what Hannah has done with her phone.  All this while knowing that any day her replacement phone would arrive anyway.  I tell her it wasn’t her phone and we drive home.  I’m exhausted and upset.  She is scouring the Beastess for her phone and wondering if maybe she did leave it at home.

We get home and I walk inside and kick off my shoes and put on my slippers (we don’t wear shoes inside, in an effort to prolong the life and cleanliness of the carpeting).  I go to sit down in my chair and open up my computer to start reading all of your posts.  No more than 5 minutes after I have sat down, I get a call from Hannah’s mother.

She tells me that she had just received a call on Hannah’s phone from the doctor’s office who said they had found it and she left it there.

Words can’t explain how frustrated I was.  I tell Hannah to put her shoes back on and we drive back once again.  I say, “This time, you’re going in.  I’m not fucking dealing with this anymore.”

I was wondering if perhaps the receptionist got it wrong and thought the recovered phone was an iPhone, or what had happened.

Hannah comes back, her phone in hand and explains that since I was the last appointment, they had just cleaned that exam room and found her phone after we came the first time.  I laughed a little, was still a little mad, but all’s well that ends well, as they say.

Later that day her friend called her to tell her that her new phone had arrived.  We went to pick it up and visit with her friend.  None of this drama mattered anyway.

You’d think that was the end, if you never met Hannah.

I had my appointment again yesterday.  It was not great, and I need to lower my stress and get more rest, as my neutrophils are not coming up.  They are not too worried at this point, as they believe it is likely stress and lack of sleep.  They want me back in next week, just to be sure this is not something worse just beginning.  I wasn’t in a great mood.  We get out of the appointment and Hannah says, “I can’t find my phone!”

“Hahaha,” I say sarcastically.

“No, really.”

So I call her phone, in the hopes that it will vibrate or light up in her purse and we can leave.  She still can’t find.it.  “I must have left it in there,” she said.

At least they were still open.  I told her I was going to use the restroom and she should go check.

I get out of the restroom and she is nowhere to be found.  She called me (so at least I knew she had her phone) and asked where I was.  I told her and she told me when she didn’t see me she went to the ground floor.  I went down the elevator to meet her and she tells me she did have her phone all along.  She had turned it down inside the office (to be respectful) and it was in the bottom of her purse.  They had already cleaned the exam room and had another patient in there when she went to look for it, (he was very nice and understanding), and she checked her purse one last time when not finding it, and sure enough, it was there all along.

So I ask you, my dear reader(s), what kind of non-toxic glue or other method of securing the phone to her can I use?


Author: Josh Wrenn

Cancer survivor, wanna-be artist, musician, author, and all around good guy.

27 thoughts on “Hannah’s Phone Saga Continues”

  1. That is a WHOLE lot of phone drama for 24 hours. How about a phone clip or a phone wallet thingy? It can clip to the pocketbook strap and hang on the inside of the pocketbook? or superglue to the ear, that’s all I got…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That would be nice. A phone implant. I think I shall start a company to create them. They could interface directly with the ears, eyes, and mouth for all the functions of a smartphone without the physical issue of keeping a phone. Maybe you could operate it with your thoughts.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I think a phone leash is in order! We just had the same list phone drama the other morning while leaving for her trip! It was found in her bag. But not until wasting 10 minutes making my husband late for work.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh my goodness I have the same disease. Although I’ve gotten to the point with my phone that when it goes missing I don’t go searching. It will turn up eventually..somewhere…and if it doesn’t (sometimes that does happen), oh well, I’m not important enough to NEED a phone anyway since I’m just an unemployed SAHM…I have facebook if my family gets too worried…I check it maybe once a week. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Perhaps one of those things that you can clip pacifiers onto then clip it onto the child, so the pacifier doesn’t get dropped or flung about. You could devise something like that for a phone. Do the I watches act as phones? Wait let me Google that…..never mind, you have to have an I-phone too. So maybe the phone clip thing would work, sure be a lot cheaper.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ahem…On behalf of Hannah, and all of the other “people” (not necessarily women) of the world who can’t keep track of their phone…. “I hope all goes well next week!” 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hmmm that is a lot of phone drama. I do shit like that a lit but they tell me its cuz of the lesions in my brain…Its a good enough excuse for me I figure if science n dr. Want to give me a viable excuse I’ll take it . At least there is a positive there.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ugh. My chemo brain makes me a bit forgetful, but nothing on that scale. I am glad I don’t have your excuse, though I hope it isn’t too much of an issue. My wife is very smart, and remembers everything…except those dang phones!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah I think the phone company’s have a device implanted that gives people subliminal suggestion to lose them so they have to buy new ones. It could just be a conspiracy theory though

        Liked by 1 person

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