Hello dear reader(s)!
What do you mean by “you people”?
Well, I mean you, my dear reader(s)! You see, I have shared my struggles, my hopes, my dreams, my fears, my screw-ups, my bad jokes…pretty much everything. You should fee special. I like you enough to share all of this with you. Either that, or I am just an attention whore. Probably a little of both, you can leave the money on the nightstand.
So how far would I go for the sake of entertaining the reader(s) of this blog-type-thing?
- Pose naked?
- Pose half-naked?
- Take pictures in front of exotic animals that I’ve “hunted”? (Shot on a reserve that is about a tenth of the land they usually roam in, to which they are confined, there is no purpose for killing them except my sadistic desire to take a life, and there is little actual “hunting” involved?)
- Do a “challenge” not related to charity?
- Punch a baby?
- Punch an executive at a multi-national corporation?
- Punch a bunch on The Price Is Right?
- Spike the punch?
- Punch a speed bag?
- Punch a speed freak?
- Punch a speed limit sign?
- Drink Hawaiian Punch?
- Drink a lemonade?
- Drink straight lemon juice?
- Drink gin and juice?
- Rollin’ down the street?
Well, my dear reader(s), the answers to these questions are no, yes, no, yes, yes, yes, yes (if I had one), yes (if they were threatening me or my loved ones), no, yes, I am right now, no, not until I am better, and yes, but not while drinking the gin and juice.
But do you know what I would do? I would embarrass myself for you in silly pictures.
Because I am deeply committed to your entertainment, and ultimately, your well-being.
So here goes. My embarrassment, for your entertainment.
I am the Macho Man! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Feel the power of my drums!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hannah and I going out in the sun. Have to be protected!
Prepping for the cold!
Hannah and my friend Destiny trying out to be Ninjas!
Why won’t this thing go anywhere?!?!?
Hannah brings good tidings!
Mmmm, lemons for Hannah!
We call this “Village Idiot at the Salem Witch Trials”
Well my dear reader(s), I hope you can now see that there is hardly any lengths I will not go to in order to provide you with the highest quality entertainment available in media today. I hope that you enjoyed these photographs, as much as we enjoyed taking them. It is also my sincere hope that you share these, they become viral, and we end up breaking the interweb tubes. No, we wouldn’t really want that to happen, now would we? Not like that time someone tried typing Google into Google.
Goodnight dear reader(s)!
I am very tired and not feeling well and we still need to go out and feed my dad and step-mother’s cat. I might read some of your stuff later, but I might just pass out in a puddle of my own tears and failed dreams instead. Well, actually, not in Stead. Stead is further away, and I don’t want to go there. I’m tired. I’d rather be home instead. Which isn’t in Stead. My home is not in Stead. You get it.
Look forward to my wife’s blog tomorrow as she will have some pictures of her fancy new tattoos!