Hallo liebe Leser!
Gammatik ist sehr wichtig!
I wonder if I got that right.
Hello dear reader(s)!
Grammar is very important, but it is not everything. I occasionally make a typo or two, that I miss upon review and spellcheck may not correct. And that is okay, as long as my content is entertaining, I don’t worry about it too much. Errors happen and if someone makes one, I’m not going to think they are unintelligent like members of Ze Grammatik Nazi Party. To put it simply, I’m not a pretentious asshole and I couldn’t care less if there are a few errors in your writing as long as what you have to say is interesting. My grammar is not the best, particularly my use of punctuation and occasional lapses in judgement with sentence structure. Sometimes I use bad grammar on purpose, (like my run-on sentences when trying to express frustration), and sometimes I just do it in error. And I don’t think it is that big of a deal. I don’t believe my work should be relegated to camps.
However, there are a few exceptions that I would like to address. Please understand, my thoughts on this issue are in no way meant to appease the vicious fascists of the Party, but simply to attempt to address errors that we can all agree are annoying and may ruin someone’s otherwise great thoughts or work for us. We will still fight the grammar Nazis on all fronts, but this does not mean that they can’t be right about some things. I will show the examples of things I think we all dislike, so as to possibly take some of the momentum from their march of hate on the writing public. If these errors are corrected, then perhaps they will not be able to convert so many to their march of evil.
Your and you’re. This is so easy, and happens so often, it can’t always be about an autocorrect error. It does happen, but on the scale I’ve seen it (even viral memes use it wrong), people must have just forgotten what was taught to them years ago. I know people with 4 year college degrees who regularly get this wrong. So just as a refresher, to keep the grammar SS from raiding your work, YOUR is possessive. YOU’RE is you are. It’s that easy.
Its and it’s. Now, this one is a little more difficult as apostrophes often mark possession. However, in this case, the possessive has no apostrophe. Its is the possessive. When a thing has a trait or something. It’s is the contraction of it and is. Example A: I hate the world, it’s full of stupid people. (It is full of stupid people.) Example B: I hate the world, its stupid people are destroying it. (the world’s stupid people.)
Now onto there, their, and they’re. There is a place. Like, Over There, Over There! Their is possessive, like, Their beer tastes better than any other brewery’s beer I’ve ever had over there. And they’re is they are. For example, They’re going to get wiped out by Patton’s forces if he doesn’t advance too far past his supply lines.
To, two, and too. Two is a number. (There are two of us reader(s).) Too is also, or a way of expressing amount. (I want to go there too. That is too little money.) To, is directional. (You’re going to the store. You’re giving that to her.)
The rest, starting sentences with But, or And (something I love to do), ending a sentence with a preposition, (common until some Shakespeare hater decided to arbitrarily make the rule) and using a comma when you should use a semi-colon or vice versa, or having a run-on sentence, or going on and on in one line when they really should be separated, or using basic words instead of more flowery speech, or repeating things like the way they use run-on sentences all of the time, are usually forgivable enough and a low enough priority with Ze Party, that we should be able to escape their clutches before the round-ups begin.
So watch out for those major offenses, and stay one step ahead of Ze Grammatik Nazi Party.
This message has been brought to you by the US Office of War Information. Remember, when you make an error, you write with Hitler!