Ladies, this is secret information for men only. You are not supposed to be reading this, it is secret guy stuff. What are you doing reading anyway? Are you trying to exert authority over men with your knowledge or something? You do know you can be stoned for that. Why don’t you be a good little woman, and obey this man, and go back to your womanly duties of taking care of children, being a semen receptacle for your man, cooking, and cleaning. This is guy stuff, and your tiny little female brains just wouldn’t understand anyway.
Okay guys, are the bitches gone? Good, now I will explain all the ways to make sexy with the women. Because we all know that and housekeeping are the only things they are good for, am I right?
- Acquire your target. Look for someone in your league, but definitely not fat because your friends will make fun of you and your man-card may be revoked if you do a fat chick. Even if the fat chick is otherwise beautiful, if they have excess body weight, kick them to the curb. Only desperate Beta males do fat chicks. Go to a classy bar, like Hooters, but do not try for the waitress whores, because they are only there for the money and are not real. Go after the chicks that go there for the cheap drinks.
- Any means necessary. Date rape is still a date. If it is a date, it must be consensual. Do not put yourselves above methods such as spiking your target’s drink with aphrodisiacs. Some common, effective aphrodisiacs include Rohypnol, GHB, and Ketamine. No, these do not necessarily make the women desire sex with you, but they do help lower their inhibitions (by lowering their consciousness.)
- Come up with an effective pick-up line. My favorites are, “I have a gun, so give me a blowjob.” “You are beautiful but would look even more so while tied up in my shed.” “I usually date older women, but your Pop Warner cheerleader uniform makes you look so mature.” “Can you help me get this lint out of my pocket?” And of course, my go-to, “I’ve been watching you all night from across the room, while masturbating.”
- Set your phone on silent. You wouldn’t want your wife interrupting your special moment, would you?
- On second thought, leave your phone at home. This prevents your
victimdate from finding your phone in a moment of clarity and any pesky visits from the authorities.
- Make sure you do not wear a condom. How else can you be fruitful and multiply when your seed is stopped by latex? Don’t you want to leave your mark on the world, and this woman? Wouldn’t you like to remind her of your
nightminutes of pleasure with a special gift? Even if the whore is not a good enough woman to produce a child, you might still leave her with another type of special gift. A condom won’t always stop you from imparting that gift upon her, but not wearing one is the easiest way to ensure it happens.
- Remember to have fun. Contrary to modern Devil-culture, sex is not an activity women enjoy. Therefore, you do not need to worry about her pleasure or freedom. This moment is about you. Don’t worry you may climax too early. What is too early? Why deny yourself your pleasure for any longer than necessary. Your satisfaction is key. If you followed step 2 properly, you should have a chance to try again and again. Remember, she is there for your gratification. That bitch only exists because you are missing a rib anyway.
- Take pictures. All too often, once you are done using your cum rag, they will be upset that you didn’t propose marriage and will retaliate by trying to get you charged with rape. Like the bitch didn’t want it or meant when she said, “No.” So your best defense is to take pictures while she is
passed outsleeping from all the intense passion. Use your fingers to force a smile on her face as she lies there exposed, so that there can be no question she was loving every minute of being rapedused for your enjoyment. If you let her know you have the pictures, and will put them online if she presses charges, you may be able to avoid having to enter them as evidence in the first place. Plus, you will have a lovely keepsake of your time spent together.
- Take note of what she was wearing, and use her clothes against her. No, I don’t mean tying her up with them (although that is certainly a possibility if you are unprepared and have no rope or chains), I mean painting her clothes in the sluttiest possible light. A skilled
rapistlover can make a burqa seem too revealing. Obviously, any woman wearing jeans and a t-shirt must be a total slut who was asking for it.
- Move to a state who has elected a lawmaker familiar with the difference between legitimate rape, and illegitimate rape. Obviously, the bitch was out at a bar, drinking, she must have wanted it. The rape is clearly not legitimate. Especially if you have impregnated her, this is an iron-clad defense in some places because if the rape were legitimate, the body has ways of shutting down that pregnancy.
Did any of this make you laugh? They would be pretty funny, except there are way, way too many people who actually think this way. They vote. They will elect Rand fucking Paul or Ted fucking Cruz, Chris Christie, or Jeb Bush (because America loves a monarchy) if you don’t show up. The lesser of two evils is clear, they are the ones who do not attempt to justify rape, and take a stand against those in their ranks who do.