Hello dear reader(s)!
As you may or may not be able to tell by my recent posts, I’ve been in a terribly foul mood lately. Not a fowl mood, I’m not a huge fan of duck…too greasy every time I’ve had it. Just a bad mood. I’d say blame it on my running low on Ativan, forcing a faster taper than I intended, because I miscalculated, and the doctor’s office isn’t open to get me a prescription, and I can’t transfer my out-of-state prescription because of the stupid War On Drugs…but then I’d be using my illness as an excuse for my behavior, and I hate that. Even if it does affect behavior, I like to think I’m in control enough to recognize it. I like to think…
Anyway, I’m going to tell you how I stop the downward spiral once I finally do recognize where I’ve been heading. I am not a doctor, so this is not medical advice. And I recognize that not everyone responds the same way to things. I also recognize that many of our illnesses are vastly different and so what works for mine may not work for yours. In short, this isn’t one of those, “Be positive (because that is so easy) and count your blessings posts.”
But, these things seem to help me pull out before I hit the depths. Maybe they’ll help you too, maybe not. But wouldn’t it be cool if it did? No? Okay then, but I think it would.
- Vent No, not the thing in your vehicle that lets air in, I mean, venting off my frustration as a pressure cooker vents off steam. Excellent for preventing unsightly explosions. As you may have noticed, I have this one down pat. Who’s Pat? Saint Pat Rick? Despite my best efforts, I am going to be exposed to terrible things. The news is a negative propaganda machine with the obvious goal of bringing the worst side of humanity to light, and reinforcing it. So I absorb it, and it sucks. So instead of letting it suck, I blow it out. I try to place a message, rather than just telling everyone how bad things are, because I don’t want to contribute to the wheel o’ humans suck. We don’t. Or maybe we do, but that is really none of our business, is it? But we aren’t bad. There are bad people, but we aren’t bad.
- Seek the positive For every negative thing I come across, I have found that if I really try, I can find 3 positive things. If I don’t actively seek out the positive, then down I go. It requires constant effort, and can be pretty exhausting.
- Get rest If I can rest, I feel quite a bit better after. This one is very much easier said than done. I am not very good at stopping the spinning “wheel in the sky keeps on turnin’.” No, wait, the spinning thoughts in my head.
- Laugh Is it my best medicine? No, I have prescriptions for that. But is it good medicine? For me anyway. I will seek out comedy specials on Netflix, or I will watch episodes of The IT Crowd over and over and over again. For my wife, it is that and I love Lucy. In fact, if I love Lucy is not on in the morning, it is not a good day for her. We all have our coping mechanisms. If hers is a crazy red-head and her equally crazy husband, then I’ll take it.
- Music Either listening, or when I can…playing it.
Not the best song we played, or the best we played it, but the only video I can find.
- Sex Duh. Should go without saying, but it makes people uncomfortable and I think that is a shame, so I say it.
- Breath focus So, so hard for me. I have spent my entire life being told how important it is to be able to multi-task…and I got damn good at it. This is a huge issue, in western culture, I think. We multi-task and multi-task because corporations want as little employees as possible, and so we have forgotten how to focus. I keep practicing though, and occasionally, though rarely, I get it. I’m going to keep trying in this one, because it can be pretty awesome if I do manage to get it. That is…if I don’t just get tired, but not sleepy.
- Exercise Another easier said than done. My fatigue is very fatiguing. That said, occasionally I will get a spike and take full advantage by exercising until I am back to being fatigued. But at least it is a better feeling fatigue. A less fatiguing fatigue, if you will. Or if you won’t, it’s up to you.
- Reading all your posts I am pretty scared to be around a lot of people with my immune system still being messed up. (Messed up is a technical medical term.) So I don’t get out amongst the world much. You people (what do you mean by You People?) make me feel like it isn’t just my wife and I in our own messed up bubble of messed upness.
So from the bottom of my left ventricle, I thank you for the free therapy.