Hello dear reader(s)!
What does the above picture have to do with this post? Um…come up with something. I just wanted to show off one of my cute cats.
Anyway, this post is not in response to anyone. I know the title may seem as though it is, but in this case anyway, it isn’t.
Well, not anyone specific. Just a disturbing trend I see for people to use their physical characteristics as an excuse for awful behavior. This post was actually inspired by Shop Girl Anonymous. (I promise I’m not stalking you!) She has a very icky story about a creep that made me a little sick to my stomach. Not just sick, but pissed off. But since we’re on the subject of stalking…
Do you know how many times I think about sex? Way, WAY too often. I went a couple of years of my adult, married life without much of it, and I think my desires are trying to make up for lost time. Add to that the fact that in the course of treatment, whatever produces testosterone came to a screeching halt, so I now am prescribed it and it is like second puberty, and to quote Xander Harris from Buffy The Vampire Slayer, “Looking at linoleum makes me wanna have sex.” Sorry if that is TMI, but when have you known me to keep my mouth shut? But do you know what happens every single time I want to have sex? Well, usually nothing. It just isn’t necessary every time. I have control over my urges.
I have control over my urges!
Why is that such a hard concept to grasp? When I see certain things, or hear about certain things, or read about certain things…do I get excited? Yes, yes I do. I’m not asexual, (not knocking those who are) and it is an important part of my life. But would I ever, EVER think about inflicting that upon anyone that is not completely and totally consenting (or only my wife, for me)? Hell no! Why? Because I have control over my urges!
So a woman riding the bus in India in the evening gets horribly, brutally gang-raped and murdered. And the excuse of her killers is that she is at fault for being out after dark and being a woman. And way, WAY too many people agree.
But it isn’t like this is a problem reserved for other cultures and other nations. There is a growing movement in all areas that is attempting to blame women (primarily) for wearing too riské of attire or the media for getting men “charged up”. This isn’t just offensive to women, but should be offensive to any man with a cerebellum.
I recently had a discussion with youretheworst over at you ain’t special about people trying to push their lifestyle upon you. It has come up so many times in my life. It usually involves the Polyamory crowd. Now, I can say this over and over again until I’m blue in the face…I do not give a rat’s ass (or any other ass for that matter) what gets you off, so long as you aren’t trying to shove it down my throat, and aren’t engaging in hurting others. (And you know what I mean, and don’t mean, by hurting.) I feel that way about your religion, your sexuality (or lack thereof), etc, etc. Just because I am okay with you being a little freaky (though I don’t like that word to describe interests that are not mainstream), doesn’t mean that I am okay with any acts of non-consent. And when I tell you that I am not interested in your lifestyle, and you continue to tell me how it is the way we are meant to be and attempt to coerce me…then you are violating me. I’m glad that works for you, but it is not for me. I don’t think it is wrong, unless you try to force it upon someone.
Being accepting does not mean ignoring right and wrong. I know that some people base their morality on their religious views, and that is fine, but not for me. Have some fucking faith in you God that he/she/it will sort things out. That is faith. Trying to impose your morality on those who do not share your religion is showing that you do not think your God is capable of sorting things out in the afterlife you claim to hold so dear. “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” If you truly believe in your God (whatever the religion, not just the example I used…) then you will know that only your God is perfect. And in that, you will know then that you will always have the plank in your eye.
However, I think we can all agree that there is a right and wrong. We may not agree on all of the finite details, but we can agree that hurting others is wrong. (And again, I don’t need to explain the way I mean that, I think I’ve said it enough.) Is it necessary sometimes? Sure, I think until the day we can all live by that philosophy, sometimes we might have to hurt those who don’t. It isn’t really a dichotomy. It isn’t really hard at all, if you think about it.
“Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.” I think all religions have a synonymous version of this, somewhere in their texts. And no, that doesn’t mean if you fantasize about being raped it is okay to rape someone. (It is called consensual non-consent…look it up, but maybe not the images though.) We are not slaves to our biology. We are in control of our urges.
You have a rational part of your brain for a reason. Get out there and use it!
And to lighten the mood on this little rant, I leave with you with this inspirational quote: “But we would eat Kraft Dinner. Of course we would, we’d just eat more!” -Bare Naked Ladies