Another Double Post

Hello again, dear reader(s)!

In order to spare you Reader Litter, (Like kitty litter, only for WordPress), I have decided to combine two shortish posts of entirely different subject matter into one, still less shortish post.  Why?  Because I wanted to tell you a funny (to me) story I recently remembered, having moved back into my childhood home; and because I also have thoughts weighing heavily on my mind and would like your advice on the subject of this here blog-type-thing.  So which would you like to read first?  The story post portion, or the blogging post portion?

Too bad, you’re getting the story post portion first.  Feel free to scroll through if you want to do things your own way, though be advised it is against my intentions and might make me sad.  😦  (Yes, I used an emoticon.  Sue me.)

I’m In Here

It was the 80’s and my parents had just gotten divorced.  My mom was working nearly all of the time in order to try to keep food on the table and the lights on.  The basic necessities were usually met, but some things had to be put off for a time.  Prioritizing was Pee-Wee’s Secret Word around the house.  (Everybody scream, you know you watched it!)

Well, one fine day, the lock on the bathroom door broke.  Despite the 3 bedroom, 1 bathroom house being occupied by my mom, my older sister, my older brother, and myself; getting it fixed just wasn’t a priority.  (Do you scream on a form of the word?  I can’t remember.)  As you can imagine, all of this lockless anarchy led to quite a few mid-relief walk-ins.

So my mother, in her brilliance, proposed a simple solution to this perplexing problem.  Upon entering The Room of Bath, one should shout out, “I’m in here!”  This would ensure that everyone would know not to enter whilst a fellow family member was doing his or her business.

And it worked.  For many months.

Until one day…

On that day, my mom’s supervisor at her work called her to discuss a matter of some importance.  The phone rang, my brother lifted the receiver and shouted, “I’m in here!”

The lock was fixed within the week.  Priorities.

Blog-type-thing Advice Request

If you read my post earlier today, (Why do you keep doing that to yourself?  And I thought I was a masochist!) then you know I have made the decision to unfollow certain blogs with a negative tone or posting about things that upset me (such as defending racism, and making sweeping generalizations).  I strongly believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I just don’t necessarily want to read the negativity.

It is akin to viewing the abused animals on the ASPCA commercials for me.  Bad stuff exists.  It is out there.  But it brings me down and I don’t want that.  It is hard for me to handle.

So here is my dilemma:

What if, one of the people with the beliefs that I can’t stand, might not be such an evil person?  What if that person is simply misguided or just hasn’t been exposed to the good in people from all walks of life as I have?  What if they grew up and were taught those things by everyone around them and just haven’t been shown the other side of the coin?  Not everyone has been exposed to the diversity that I have.  Not everyone has dated interracially.  Not everyone has had close friends come out to them and realize that they were still the same great people they always were.  Not everyone themselves believes they don’t fit squarely into the typical roles given to them by society.  Not everyone has had people of every different race, religion, lack of religion, sexuality, gender, gender identity, etc…work to save their life.

So what do I do?  Do I suck it up and try to change minds?  Do I follow in the hopes that they will, at some point stop by and really understand what I have to say; or do I spare myself the heartache and let it go?  I believe and have said that we often have to do the hard things in order to better ourselves…but I am also facing things where I feel I need to look out for me more.

So please, if you have any advice for me on this situation, I am all ears.  (Or eyes, in this case.)

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Author: Josh Wrenn

Cancer survivor, wanna-be artist, musician, author, and all around good guy.

41 thoughts on “Another Double Post”

  1. We don’t have a lock our bathroom; there wasn’t one when we moved here 11 years ago. Due to an incident of our eldest son, in a rented house, when he was 3 years old locking himself in a WC and proceeding to flood the room with the tap running over, we never saw it a priority! Children are in their teens – we have all learned to knock first if the door is shut 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nice! We were all 3 years apart, so privacy was pretty important to some, and we didn’t always think first. The funny thing, is that being back in this house, I have started locking the bathroom door even though it is just my wife and I, simply because it is possible!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Without more details about this person/situation all I would suggest is to be careful not to let the situation become your personal time/energy vampire.
    As you know well enough already, life is way to short for that 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. To paraphrase Chinatown: “Forget it Josh, it’s the internet.”

    People are gonna be people, and it’s just as likely that anything you say would be misinterpreted. Up to you though, sir. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I have my own rule for myself. If I don’t want to read it in the comments of a news site or on other social media then I surely do not want to read it on a blog. I am currently debating on unfollowing someone not because of what he writes, but because he reblogs from a blog that appears to be anti law enforcement. He/ they have a right to believe what they do, and I as a police officer’s wife have a right not to read it. So do I unfollow, or just not click on the reblogs (though the titles leave nothing to the imagination)?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You don’t necessarily have to un-follow, but you can choose not to read what they post on any given day. Depending on the day, I like to occasionally read or listen to someone with the polar opposite views of my own, just to remind myself that not everyone thinks like I do, and wouldn’t it be a boring place if they did? But if I know it’s going to set me off and ruin my day, I won’t.
    I go back and forth about how to respond to ignorance. To a certain extent, I believe I have a moral obligation to attempt to be a voice of compassion and/or reason, but I also know that some people are not going to listen to anything I have to say so I’m wasting my breath and upsetting myself and it’s changing nothing. I take it on a case by case basis. If you think they’re being racist or hurtful out of ignorance, it might be worth voicing another perspective to them occasionally, but try phrasing it gently with words like, “In my own personal experience, and recognizing that your experiences may have been different, I’ve found that…” If they’re really just being hateful, then it’s not worth your time. They’re pleasuring themselves by being nasty. Un-follow, defriend, etc., and don’t waste any sleep over it.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hey Josh, I hope that’s not me. If I have been offensive in some way, I am sorry. If it’s not me then try explaining things gently. ( I guess you just did ) maybe they will figure it out. I think making a point obvious is better than beating around the bush. Great story too.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Here’s what I think about all this. You basically have to protect yourself. And if people with negative thoughts bum you out, you need to avoid them. I say unfollow them. Would you invite these people into your house so they could spew their meanness all over? No! So why invite them into your mind, through the internet? I have this belief that negative, mean people can meld themselves into your psyche and change your whole outlook on life. Don’t let them do it. Run…run as fast as you can in the other direction and don’t ever look back!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Great thoughts! You’re right. I think I just remember times when I wasn’t necessarily positive and I am trying, so I think I can make them too. But then I remember that the things that made me try I learned on my own. You can’t force people, especially at the expense of yourself. Thanks for helping!

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      1. When I was researching stuff for my last book, I read up on auras. Very fascinating stuff. But I have to believe there might be such things as auras, because have you ever been around someone that just kind of sucked the life out of you or made you feel depressed and unsure without really doing or saying anything. Bad auras. I think they might pass some of that stuff on through their writing. And it is true that some people you will never, ever change. They have always been that way and they will always be that way. Let them how hang-out with other negative people and they all can be happy together in their misery.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. You can’t change inflexible minds but you can continue to lead by example and walk the talk -as you do and those that want to come around will. I say kick the haters to the curb and spend your precious time with the tolerant, empathetic, open minded folks you will attract with your positive attitude.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I think if someone’s posts are getting you down, then you have to unfollow. It is a hard decision to make, but I think you have now made up your mind. I hope that you feel better for doing so 🙂

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      1. I know how you feel. It is a really big deal to decide whether or not to unfollow someone. As yet I have not had to do so, but I know I would be worrying myself stupid over it if I did. Hope you soon manage to get some sleep. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. No really, I’ve made peace with it. Tye insomnia is because my wife is staying at her sister’s tonight because her birthday is tomorrow…or today I guess, & I have a hard time sleeping without her. It is funny though, one of tree people I mentioned posted about it and though her followers may see things differently, I don’t and am glad I unfollowed. And the person who reblogged her complaint post about me. Shouldn’t we be slowed to dislike people’s blogs without it being personal?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I understand, why you can’t sleep as well without your wife being there, it is not the same sleeping on your own! I suppose people do take it as a personal affront if someone dislikes something that they have written, or something that they do that is a big part of who they are. I am quite a sensitive person. However, I think that in this huge blogosphere it is inevitable that we are going to lose followers at times, but will gain new ones at others. it is just a case of having to get used to the new balance of things without getting upset over it.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. It just made me laugh reading it, because she was obviously someone who just will find a way to complain about anything. It isn’t like I went around naming names and telling my followers to unfollow too. I simply started my opinion, and if she thought my opinion was so wrong, she wouldn’t have known I was talking about her. So I’m glad to be rid of that. As for my wife, I was so dependent on her for so long, it is hard to get used to any time apart. But I encourage it so we don’t become completely co-dependent.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Well I think you have definitely made the right decision there Josh by no longer reading any more posts from this blogger. Try to put it behind you, although it sounds as if you had a pretty awful experience there. It sounds like you and your wife have got things pretty well sussed out! I hope you both enjoy her special day today, and GET SOME SLEEP for Christ’s sake or you will be tired and crabby for when she comes home! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Okay, just had to share an experience I had last night that was the real world version (as opposed to online) of this debate we’re having about whether or not to engage. Last night at the studio, I had a woman start bitching that her kid’s social studies teacher spent only 2 days talking about Christianity and 5 days talking about Islam. I could feel her revving up and becoming truly indignant, but she seemed like a relatively reasonable person, so I took a deep breath and stopped her by saying, “This is just my guess,” notice how I tempered it there with that, “but since we live in a predominately Christian nation, our kids presumably already know a ton about Christianity, whereas they probably haven’t had much exposure to Islam, so they’d need to spend more time on that to understand it at the same level.” She paused and said, “Huh. I hadn’t thought about it like that, Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Cue my sigh of relief. When I’m teaching and in my role as a small business owner, I generally try to stay away from religious or political statements, so I took a big risk saying anything, but she had seemed fairly levelheaded prior to her outburst, so I deemed it worth taking a chance. I got lucky and it worked. Anyway, thought you’d appreciate that.

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