Hello my dear reader(s)! Today, with your assumed permission, I would like to try something a little different. Ordinarily, I may have a post once a day (possibly more if there is some other crap I want to spew into the unsuspecting blogosphere), but the posts will typically be about something. For example, I will write posts about one topic instead of a post about lots of little things or completely different topics. Today, however, is a new day, which requires a new way of thinking. No longer can we remain static in the ways of yesteryear (or yesterday, as the case may be). The status-quo is simply no longer quo enough anymore. In order for us to continue to evolve as a society, our ideas must evolve as well. Particularly, this blog-type-thing must lead the way in this new age, lest humanity fall into an age of darkness, the likes of which have not been seen since the Ages of Absence of Light over 7 years ago. No more can this blog-type-thing rest on its laurels. Sure, it may be the consistently best piece of blog-type-thing ever witnessed by man, woman, child, and family pets, however, in times like these it must do more. And so I have changed the mission of this blog-type-thing.
If you recall, my mission was to practice writing as well as to express my thoughts, regardless of the topic or style I chose. Well, it is with great excitement that I present the new mission of this blog-type-thing: This blog-type-thing will serve as the primary source for my writing practice and self-expression on topics of my choosing.
Now I know that is considerable change, and I do not want to scare you, my dear reader(s), but sometimes you have to upset the apple cart if you want to emotionally damage an inanimate object. Sometimes if you want to make an omelette, you have to be able to be fine with eating aborted chicken fetus. You can’t have your cake and eat it too, except in your digestive system for a few hours later. Sometimes, before you can build something, you have to grease the palms of whoever issues the permits.
So this post will be a bit of an experiment, that if successful will in no way determine the future course of this blog-type-thing because I just can’t stick to doing things one way. That’s one of the things that you love about me. I know, because that’s what I tell myself through the tears as I stand in front of the mirror every morning as I try to convince myself that I am loved.
Anyway, rather than sticking to one topic on this post, I felt it was important to the future of the planet and all of its inhabitants that I post little snippets of thoughts for your entertainment, enjoyment, enlightenment, and well-being.
For those of you who don’t know what a snippet is, a snippet is a type of computer plange.
- Even though I consider myself to be a citizen of the world, I can’t help but be outraged by the tendency for companies to move their manufacturing from the United States, to cheaper (almost slave labor) markets in developing nations. For this reason, I have decided to exchange my $10,000 a day coke habit for the much cheaper, American Made Meth that is sourced and manufactured locally, right in my own trailer park. Not only is meth less expensive than imported coke, it keeps people like Billy-Bob in Cabela’s gear, which benefits our economy right here at home. Instead of sending profits to vicious drug cartels in South America, the profits circulate within the community among local businesses and moral companies like Hobby Lobby and Chik-Fil-A. It gives jobs to local police and addiction counselors, and keeps our hospitals full and profitable. So remember, if you love your country, by your drugs made right here, By meth, meth from the USA.
- I am sick of the war on Christianity here in this country. You can tell there is a war against Christians here, because our military is being used to fight a war against Muslims. Obviously this means that the President is really just a Kenyan Muslim sympathizer, because if he wasn’t, he’d surely be using our military to fight those that wish to establish a Christian theocracy in this country, instead of fighting wars against Muslims in the middle east. Wait…that doesn’t add up. Perhaps there is no war on Christianity after all. Hmmm, they don’t have to follow the laws if they say their religious beliefs are against it, they have freedom of speech, freedom to worship…they must be being persecuted!
- I see nothing at all wrong with gay-bashing, if the gays are into that sort of thing and are consenting adults. I also don’t think gays should have equal rights, but instead should have all mathematical function rights. Plus rights. Minus rights. Division rights. Multiplication rights, and yes, even equal rights. Why should they be limited to just equal rights simply because they are gay?
- I want to start an anti-social media website. Where people can post things to themselves that prevent them from actually engaging and being social with anyone. Wait, that already exists. It’s called Facebook.
- I think Facebook gets a bad rap. A lot, Particularly when someone from Facebook posts something by Kanye West. Then it gets a horrible rap.
- This one is actually true. When I was little, I would see the news and they would talk about the Ku Klux Klan. I thought it was the Ku Klutz Klan. Now as an adult, I think my childhood impression was more accurate when I see these idiots on the news.
- I think one of the major problems in politics is the trend where one’s political opponent uses character assassination in order to further their own agenda. I think that is terrible. I mean, assassination is generally wrong, whether the person is somewhat of a character or not. And I don’t want to see my favorite characters in my favorite stories killed just because John Boehner is angry that his skin isn’t as orange as Lindsey Lohan’s.
Thank you for reading these snippets today. Your thoughtful, careful, perusing of these is going to be instrumental in the continued evolution of humanity. Your actions here today, may have saved the lives of countless numbers of people. They are countless because you can’t really count to zero, can you?