As predicted, my visitor count has plummeted recently. At first I must admit, I was a little hurt, but I had to remind myself that I wasn’t doing this for readers or popularity anyway. I could do as recommended. I could stick to one topic I know well, I could use my perspective as a cancer survivor and struggling disabled person to comment on anything from social security to insurance companies to politicians who think we disabled people are “gaming the system”. If I stuck to those posts with the Category and Tag of “cancer”, I’m sure I could do quite well on the visitor counts.
But what would be the point of that? How boring.
I’m not a blogger. I have to remind myself that I do this for me. I want to express myself, and I have more to say than, “Look at me, I had cancer and now I don’t, but I’m still really fucked up from it and all the treatment, boo-hoo.”
I think my cancer story is interesting, don’t get me wrong, and eventually, some day, I will write it. Not in a series of posts, but in a book. It will be a large book. It’s a long story.
In the meantime, I’m going to continue to post random things. I’m going to practice writing, develop my voice, & write whatever the hell I feel like writing. I am more than one story. I’m more than just a niche. If that means that people will be put off, I’ll just have to live with that.
I’m sorry if I sound angry, or like I’m throwing myself a pity party. I’m not trying to. I’m merely restating the purpose of this blog-type-thing, for those people who started following me after one post expecting more like it. This is my way of letting you know that I never intended to mislead you into thinking that this blog-type-thing existed as anything but what I’ve described above.
This is why (aside from the fact that I think it sounds funny), I’ve always called this a blog-type-thing rather than a blog. A blog is usually focused. A blog is typically designed for readers of a certain group or demographic. A blog typically shares ideas that reinforce their readers beliefs, rather than attempting to challenge them or show a different perspective. Even highly successful pages that have a variety of subjects, still typically stick to the slant of their readers’ opinions. They don’t post fiction one day followed by a centrist political rant, followed by a leftist political rant, followed by an attempt at humor which likely offends anyone who reads it. No, this is no blog, and I’m no blogger.
And while I certainly understand that narrow subject blogs are bound to be more successful because people know what to expect, and know they can turn to that blog to read about the subject of something they are interested in, I just can’t be bound to that. I even find it upsetting that people now work so hard to master one area, and let all the other thoughts, inspirations, knowledge, and commentary slip past.
I won’t compare myself to the Renaissance masters. Their talent in multiple subjects was far beyond my capability. But I will say that I find their desire and passion for all forms of art and sciences to be inspirational. They sought to know and reflect everything around them, not just one subject in which they particularly excelled.
I read a story about Michelangelo initially refusing to do the Sistine Chappell because he saw himself as more of a sculptor than a painter, but when he was given free-reign over the painting he found himself painting more and more figures than the original number he was obligated to do. Even as he tried to stay in his niche, his artistic mind pushed him to create outside of it. I’m no master, more like a Jack of all trades, master of none. (except for trades, I’m not even a Jack of any actual trades. Tradespeople have my deep respect since everytime I turn a wrench, I have to repeat in my head, “Righty tighty, lefty loosey.”
Anyway, the point of all this incoherent rambling, is that I think it is time the people of the world quit trying to be so specialized, and open up their minds and skills to more areas. If Leonardo DiVinci stuck solely to painting, we might not have helicopters today. If Justin Timberlake had only stuck to music, we wouldn’t have his great acting and hilarious skits on SNL & Jimmy Fallon. If Jimmy Fallon stuck purely to comedy, we wouldn’t have The Doors singing Reading Rainbow. (By the way, YouTube that as soon as possible, it’s amazing.) If Jenny McCarthy stuck to posing for naked pictures, we wouldn’t have a measles revival. Oh…wait…I guess branching out isn’t always good.
Anyway, to the readers I offend by changing subjects, or voicing opinions they may disagree with, here is my official non-apology.
This blog-type-thing is my blog-type-thing,
it isn’t your blog-type-thing.
If you don’t like that,
just unfollow me.
From posts about cancer,
To posts about anything,
This blog-type-thing was made just for me.