Like Flies

As predicted, my visitor count has plummeted recently.  At first I must admit, I was a little hurt, but I had to remind myself that I wasn’t doing this for readers or popularity anyway.  I could do as recommended.  I could stick to one topic I know well, I could use my perspective as a cancer survivor and struggling disabled person to comment on anything from social security to insurance companies to politicians who think we disabled people are “gaming the system”.  If I stuck to those posts with the Category and Tag of “cancer”, I’m sure I could do quite well on the visitor counts.

But what would be the point of that?  How boring.

I’m not a blogger.  I have to remind myself that I do this for me.  I want to express myself, and I have more to say than, “Look at me, I had cancer and now I don’t, but I’m still really fucked up from it and all the treatment, boo-hoo.”

I think my cancer story is interesting, don’t get me wrong, and eventually, some day, I will write it.  Not in a series of posts, but in a book.  It will be a large book.  It’s a long story.

In the meantime, I’m going to continue to post random things.  I’m going to practice writing, develop my voice, & write whatever the hell I feel like writing.  I am more than one story.  I’m more than just a niche.  If that means that people will be put off, I’ll just have to live with that.

I’m sorry if I sound angry, or like I’m throwing myself a pity party.  I’m not trying to.  I’m merely restating the purpose of this blog-type-thing, for those people who started following me after one post expecting more like it.  This is my way of letting you know that I never intended to mislead you into thinking that this blog-type-thing existed as anything but what I’ve described above.

This is why (aside from the fact that I think it sounds funny), I’ve always called this a blog-type-thing rather than a blog.  A blog is usually focused.  A blog is typically designed for readers of a certain group or demographic.  A blog typically shares ideas that reinforce their readers beliefs, rather than attempting to challenge them or show a different perspective.  Even highly successful pages that have a variety of subjects, still typically stick to the slant of their readers’ opinions.  They don’t post fiction one day followed by a centrist political rant, followed by a leftist political rant, followed by an attempt at humor which likely offends anyone who reads it.  No, this is no blog, and I’m no blogger.

And while I certainly understand that narrow subject blogs are bound to be more successful because people know what to expect, and know they can turn to that blog to read about the subject of something they are interested in, I just can’t be bound to that.  I even find it upsetting that people now work so hard to master one area, and let all the other thoughts, inspirations, knowledge, and commentary slip past.

I won’t compare myself to the Renaissance masters.  Their talent in multiple subjects was far beyond my capability.  But I will say that I find their desire and passion for all forms of art and sciences to be inspirational.  They sought to know and reflect everything around them, not just one subject in which they particularly excelled.

I read a story about Michelangelo initially refusing to do the Sistine Chappell because he saw himself as more of a sculptor than a painter, but when he was given free-reign over the painting he found himself painting more and more figures than the original number he was obligated to do.  Even as he tried to stay in his niche, his artistic mind pushed him to create outside of it.  I’m no master, more like a Jack of all trades, master of none.  (except for trades, I’m not even a Jack of any actual trades.  Tradespeople have my deep respect since everytime I turn a wrench, I have to repeat in my head, “Righty tighty, lefty loosey.”

Anyway, the point of all this incoherent rambling, is that I think it is time the people of the world quit trying to be so specialized, and open up their minds and skills to more areas.  If Leonardo DiVinci stuck solely to painting, we might not have helicopters today.  If Justin Timberlake had only stuck to music, we wouldn’t have his great acting and hilarious skits on SNL & Jimmy Fallon.  If Jimmy Fallon stuck purely to comedy, we wouldn’t have The Doors singing Reading Rainbow.  (By the way, YouTube that as soon as possible, it’s amazing.)  If Jenny McCarthy stuck to posing for naked pictures, we wouldn’t have a measles revival.  Oh…wait…I guess branching out isn’t always good.

Anyway, to the readers I offend by changing subjects, or voicing opinions they may disagree with, here is my official non-apology.

This blog-type-thing is my blog-type-thing,

it isn’t your blog-type-thing.

If you don’t like that,

just unfollow me.

From posts about cancer,

To posts about anything,

This blog-type-thing was made just for me.


Author: Josh Wrenn

Cancer survivor, wanna-be artist, musician, author, and all around good guy.

25 thoughts on “Like Flies”

  1. The internet is real then it is not. I have viewers who show up, participate for a year. Then one day without warning, they are gone. Was it real. Was it all bullshit, made up who knows

    We all want more traffic but at what price?

    It is not tied to our real happiness

    It is an ego thing.

    Happy is closer to us doing what we believe with enthusiasm, rather count views


  2. Followed you. No matter what you write, I hope it is all as raw as this is. There is something attractive about a post that is written from the gut with less worry about whether or not people will like it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I’m new to this and was fairly surprised at the focused aspect to some blogs. I think mine are fairly random, but so is life, and thing that binds it all is me, you, an individual. I didn’t notice any pity, honesty but not pity. Really, this shouldn’t be a numbers thing – i wish i could avoid seeing stats when i log in! Keep writing!


  4. I hear you. Sometimes my visitor count is as high as 67 and sometimes as low as 3. Hehheh 🙂
    But it’s all in proportion to whether or not I have gotten to visit and comment on other blogs around here. And sometimes I just don’t have the time/energy to visit other blogs. I wish it were not the case but it is. I still have to keep posting or I don’t get the benefit from it.

    I love to write out what I consider “mission statements” like what I hear in this blog post. “I am writing to accomplish …. ” It’s not whining or pity party, to me. 🙂 It helps me refocus and get back to the real core of things.


  5. Josh –

    I enjoy your writing. For me personally, I find it rather refreshing that you change subjects. Cancer sucks. And what I love most about you is that you don’t let it define you. Or rule your life. Or dictate what you write about. You provide me with information regarding your well being when necessary, and other times you feed my brain with very useful information. And of course my favorite. I loved reading how you and Hannah met.
    Anyway… Continue doing what you do best my friend. I will continue reading regardless of what you talk about.

    And Jimmy Fallon and JT are my favorite! The History of Rap!


    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ive kind of struggled with what i should write in my blog. On the one hand, i started the blog because i have cancer and i wanted a place to both process my feelings about being sick and facing death and to easily update folks on my progress. On the otherhand, cancer is fucking dreary thing, and theres more to me than just that. I guess thats part of why my tag line is along the lines of “my life with stage iv cancer”. So i can write about whatever the heck i want, and it still falls under my mission statement.


  7. It’s your blog do what you want 🙂 I personally don’t like posting about my cancer experience all the time. It looks out of place in my Fiction blog. 🙂 Readership will always vary; the only way to keep it up is too keep posting. I took a week off for health reasons and my views plummeted. Haha!


  8. I like you. I want to know more about you. I volunteer for an organization for people in all stages, newly diagnosed, in treatment, many years in recovery. Our mission is to give men with cancer in all stages the opportunity to enjoy a weekend of fly-fishing where they can be with other folks who know what they are dealing with. There is no cost to participants, except getting yourself to retreat. Once you are there, everything is furnished. It doesn’t matter if you’re a novice or a pro. You will have a wonderful experience. Look up Reel Recovery. There is a similar retreat for women called Casting for Recovery. I can not praise either highly enough. If you need info, get back to me.


  9. Well put! We have a few things in common, and I agree with much of your say. I blog, and yes I want followers, and I want to impress them w/my knowledge and expertise etc, but I will always put articles up, that I enjoy, hoping someone else likes or is interested in that as well. Our blogs are our RANTS, and ANSWERS….Thanks for having me here, and I am stalking you now too…

    Liked by 1 person

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