On Sleep and Football


Beautiful, lovely, booming Seattle.  My home, for now.  I took this picture from The Great Wheel this Summer, and already the skyline has changed.  It’s getting too big for me.  Traffic is a nightmare.  Property crime is way up, there is a multi-billion dollar tunnel boring machine stuck in the ground (that may or may not be causing historic Pioneer Square to crumble), the small businesses that made Seattle are being swallowed by Hobby Lobbies, & Chik-Fil-As, and then of course…there is the Seahawks.

While it is true Seattle has had the Seahawks as long as I can remember, they have only recently been the World-Champion (? US only league) Seattle Seahawks.  And good for them!  They’ve worked hard to get to this level and the fans deserve it.  The true fans have waited for a long time.  The bandwagon fans annoy the heck out of me…but you get that with any successful team.  I’m not a Seahawks fan.  I’m not an NFL fan.  When I was, I was a Raider fan.  But I’m very happy for the Seahawks fans, don’t get me wrong.  However…

I’m a Seattle Sounders fan.  Though I don’t like the structure of the MLS league, I love the Sounders.  (For those of you who don’t know, they are Seattle’s major league soccer team, & given the popularity of soccer in the US, you probably didn’t.)  I love soccer.  In the English (Unnamed evil Investment Bank) Premier League, my team is Chelsea.  (By my team, I do not mean I own them, but I wish.  The money I’d have…) But I digress.  I love the Premier League, (despite the sponsorship of evil).

But do you know what I love more than soccer?  (or football, to those who don’t mind pissing off NFL fans)

I love sleep!  Especially after (& during) cancer, sleep is something I value as much as gold.  (Depending on the price of gold at the time, & whether the amount of gold is enough to really equate substantial wealth), but again, I digress.  (as I so often do)

“So is there a point coming, or are you just babbling?”

Well, both.  I didn’t sleep well last night, so…yeah…I’m babbling a little.  I’m SOOOO sorry!  You try writing a blog-type-thing on 2 hours of sleep in the last two days without exaggerating how little sleep you actually got and babbling a little and then the cinnamon rolls smell so good that all you can think about is eating but they need to cool and your stomach hurts a little anyway, probably from the lack of sleep and then you realize you’ve completely lost your train of thought and you’ve been typing one long, annoying run-on sentence!

Okay.  Breathe.  Um…the point.

The point is, it SUCKS to live in a successful NFL team’s city when you’re not a fan and that team just won a Divisional Playoff game in decisive fashion.  It sucks even more if that city happens to be near other cities where fireworks and the sales of said fireworks are legal, & you are tired and want to sleep.

“How old are you?!?  It’s a Saturday night, for God’s sake!  Maybe you should check yourself back in to the nursing home, call dinner supper, sign up for Life Alert, and ride your Jazzy Scooter back to your room, lie down in your Craft-Matic bed, shut off the lights with your Clapper, put in your earplugs, & go to sleep!”

Well, first of all, I can’t sleep with earplugs in for some reason.  Second, I realize how old this makes me seem.  For the record:  I never called the cops when the fireworks were going off outside my window, I didn’t go out on the street shaking my fist in the air, yelling in my raspy old man voice, “You damn kids, with your fireworks, and video games, and your series of tubes they call the internets!”

No, I didn’t do any of those things.  Why?  Because I’m genuinely happy for the fans that were so excited, so thrilled that they felt it necessary to fire off a barrage of explosives after every score.  I’m happy that at the end of the game they were excited enough to set off enough fireworks to rip a hole in the fabric of the universe!

Besides, it wasn’t even that late.  When the Sounders won the Supporter’s Shield, I was jumping up and down, screaming like an excited gorilla.  I don’t begrudge people for being happy, and celebrating when they can.

However, the timing of it just sucked.  I didn’t sleep great the night before, so I tried to go to sleep early.  And the Seahawks seemed to score each time I was just nodding off.    BOOM!  There are only so many times you can be right at the brink of sleep but are woken up before you are just awake.  And so I’m tired, and so I’m whining.  I apologize to you, my dear readers, for subjecting you to this…but I write about what’s on my mind, & this is the terrifying result.

There is good news on the horizon though.  Whether the Seahawks continue their winning ways and repeat as World Champions (?) or not, there are only a maximum of two more games this season that I will be subjected to the awesome celebrations of happy people…that sadly ruin my sleep.

I think it’s time for a nap.


Author: Josh Wrenn

Cancer survivor, wanna-be artist, musician, author, and all around good guy.

2 thoughts on “On Sleep and Football”

  1. There was a helicopter circling our neighborhood Friday night. I looked through the websites of the local news outlets to find out what sort of maniac was going to try to force her way into our home, but every local story was Seahawks related. I checked the scores a few times last night simply to find out when not caring about football would become easier. Stupid winners. Sleep well when you do. Cinnamon rolls are gross.

    Liked by 1 person

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